Commuters Guide to the Highway

  1.  Never allow more than 16 feet in front of the vehicle traveling in the fast lane. If necessary, cross all three lanes into the slow lane to pass said vehicle and then promptly swerve back across those lanes to fill that void the driver has carelessly wasted. Don't forget your manners though, use your middle finger to signal the multiple lane change. 
  2. Garbage should always be held out the window and then let go to ensure the wind carries it at maximum velocity directly into the window of the driver behind you. Whoever touches it last is the one that littered!
  3. The far right lane is for eating breakfast. Once you're finished your egg McMuffin you can then pull into the far left lane to get rid of your garbage (See tip #2). 
  4. Approach on-ramps in the far right lane. Merging traffic will almost certainly require that lane and therefore you must occupy it. After traffic has had to slow significantly and pull in behind you to avoid running out of ramp, quickly change lanes to the far left and accelerate. 
  5. In heavy traffic apply your brakes as much as possible. It helps the motorist behind you know that your currently in the middle of a very important text message.

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iGive Up

I'd like to think I'm somewhat resistant to the fallout of today's nuclear powered marketing effort almost every company subjects me to on a daily basis. I'd love to think that I am not the things I own. Even that however, sounds like a catchy tag line. Screen fades to black, logo fades in...announcer, "Because you're not the things you own, or the car you drive...Douche Bag Insurance".

The truth is, like a lot of people I am still very manipulated by marketing. I'm considering the purchase of an iPad. I've not owned many Apple products before (I have an iPod Nano) even though almost everyone else in my professional field (graphic design) is a Mac fan boy by default. I've never seen the need or appeal. Until now.

I'm not sure why exactly. When I look at the iPad and compare it to other similar devices it's not always the greatest choice. The biggest downfall I can't get over is the complete lack of support for Adobe Flash. As a former website designer I embraced flash as a powerful tool for everything from delivering rich multimedia to my users or building free-flowing graphical user interfaces. So I realize the importance of Flash. It's everywhere you look on the web. And as of the time of writing this, Apple has no plans of making Flash part of the web surfing experience on the iPad. This will mean many, many websites will not work with the iPad. And yet I still want one.

Maybe it's the way it looks. With it's sleek, thin exterior. Remember the Star Trek computer tablet? Or maybe it's the clique-ness. There's always been a certain "exclusive" attitude with Apple owners. But not elitist type exclusive like at some fancy golf club that they won't let you come back to because you showed up for your tee time in a t-shirt and camo-shorts, parked the golf cart on the green and couldn't get past the first hole in less than 53 strokes. At least its not on the surface. There's an argument to be made for just that type of elitism with Apple but that's another story.

Whatever the reason, I'm probably going to buy one. I'll use it for a while and feel like the next John Lennon, saving the earth and fuzzy animals, contributing to peace on earth. Then I'll realize like all other things I own, it hasn't really made mine or anyone else's life better. And in the closet with my old cell phones, laptops and PDAs it will go.

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My First Post

Wow! My first post on a blog I said I'd never have. So how does this work? Do I introduce myself? And, to who exactly? No one is reading this. Well that's what I assume anyways.

So to no one here it is. My name is Tim and I'm a graphic designer. I like cars, bikes, boats or anything that will burn a hole through the ozone layer in an effort to be the fastest, loudest and best looking machine a human being has ever strapped themselves to, in or around. I also like music, video games, technology, peace on earth, my own bed and a child's laughter. I guess you will learn more about me as you read through my posts to this web log, assuming you are no one and not someone. After all, no one is reading this! (a little Abbott and Costello humor for you).

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